Not What You Wanted?

Sometime last week I came across another blog with a post titled: When Christmas Isn't How You Wanted. It really struck a chord with me because I was moping around this past week and feeling sorry for my family, etc etc etc I started crying over how this year, Christmas is not going to be what I wanted it to be.

I ran down my list of things that would not be right- being in a foreign country, both sides of our family on separate continents from each other, it never quite "feels" like Christmas to me here because of what I've gotten use to growing up, we won't be at my mom's house to wake up to Monkey Bread on Christmas morning, our parents won't get to see the joy and excitement that the girls have about Christmas this year, they won't get to see them open presents, no extended family to hang out with, etc. I could go on and on. This will be the first Christmas with just the four of us (soon 5!). Even though Marc's parents are in another country, it has somehow worked out that we were with one side of the family every year. I can't believe it's been a year since our (crazy) trip to Africa! Y'all, I NEVER want to re-live that flight.

This year, it will be just us four in our little home surrounded by minimal decorations (I would love to do BooMama's Tour of Homes, but ya right. There are some NICE homes out there!). I might attempt to make Mom's Monkey Bread or maybe just some cinnamon rolls. And we will have a quite day I'm sure. I'm praying for snow, but it didn't snow last year so I'm not going to count on it.

After reading that post I mentioned above, I read through Beth Moore's story she wrote from Mary's perspective in Things Pondered. It probably wasn't everything Mary had hoped for. Being 8 months pregnant now, I can totally relate. I've never been "heavily" pregnant at Christmas before, so this year I have a new perspective too. If Marc told me to hop on a donkey so we could return home I would bawl my eyes out. Bless Mary's heart. There is a reason God chose her! It would not have been an easy journey- and in the words of one of Cerys' Nativity songs- "We're on a bumpy journey, and we're leaving early....we'll take it nice and steady 'cause our backs are heavy and the baby could be born any day!" I just can't imagine. I've complained about the hospital here more than I should have- and then I think about where Jesus was born and what it must have been like for Mary. Probably not what she had in mind.

So that's my confession about feeling a little blah about Christmas this year. It will be different for sure, but it could be really good with just the four of us!

Thank You

Thanks y'all for the prayers. We are feeling better, but not quite 100% yet. This illness has really taken it's toll on us as a family. It took us down fast that's for sure. Anyway, Saturday I ended up at the hospital, they have an out of hours GP service, and even though I had an "appointment" we still waited over 2 hours to be seen. It was a lovely sight- lots of other people that were coughing, throwing up or generally not well all crammed into one hallway, with only about 7 chairs. We sat on the floor (gross!) and then finally as the chairs were being emptied, I got a seat that Bailey and I shared. At this time, Bailey was running such a high fever, that she was lethargic in our arms and half asleep. It was so sad. Anyway, the doctor said I had sinusitis and bronchitis on top of what I think was the flu as well. He gave me some antibiotics which I was extremely grateful for! I asked him about looking at Bailey just to make sure her ears were clear, etc and he reluctantly did but told me that if he found anything he would not treat her because my name was on the "appointment" list. Gee, thanks man you're a real star. What I really felt like saying was- "Well Doctor, we had an appointment at 5:10pm and it's now almost 7pm and you just keep asking for 'who is next' instead of looking at your appointment list. You really know how to start a riot don't you?"

By Sunday afternoon the meds had kicked in and I was starting to feel normal again thank goodness. Marc and Bailey are getting better too, and I think we are all just left feeling drained. Apart from my sinus headache and cough, I'm doing much better. Thank you for praying for us, we really appreciate it. Hopefully by Christmas we will all be back to health and will be able to enjoy it together. Two sick parents and two sick kids make lots of practice for being patient. I'm pretty sure I've failed at this test this week.

It's now time to disinfect my house, so I must go. I'm trying not to do too much, but I just can't stand it any longer. After taking Cerys to school yesterday, grocery shopping and picking her up that morning, I was beyond exhausted. But you have to have food right? And Kleenex. Now I have to have CLEAN-NESS.

Be back later-

Need Prayer

Y'all, I mentioned earlier in the week that I was not feeling well. Cerys seems to be the only one in our house right now on the mend. I'm thankful for that, but we are really sick and need your prayers. Marc and I both think we have the flu, and on top of that I've got an upper respiratory infection. Bailey seems a bit better today, but she's had fever since Wednesday night too.

And not to mention, being almost 32 weeks pregnant and having all of this crud has been really hard on me. I went to the doctor twice on Tuesday-once to be told there was nothing I could take, it's viral blah blah blah. And twice, when I could not finish a sentence because I was so out of breath and freaking out. I waited 45 minutes so I could see another doctor who was kind enough to give me an inhaler and that has helped a little bit. After giving me some kind of test where I had to blow into a tube to measure how much air was coming out, she decided I needed something to help open my airways. I'm coughing so hard that I'm scared I might hurt Baby Girl, but so far she seems okay. Not quite as active as she was last week, but still kicking around a lot.

We would be most grateful for your prayers for us to heal quickly. Having Mommy and Daddy sick at the same time is not fun-and let's not even mention the fact that I've not done laundry or cooked anything this week. I've been "sleeping" on a chair in the living room the last 3 nights because sitting straight up seems to be the only way to get air into my lungs. I hate feeling sick, but I also can't stand my house going to pot like it has this week.

Thank you.

Exhausted

I'm too tired to write an actual post, so here are some bullet points from the last few days-

*Went to Bath, England on Saturday for shopping. Way too crowded to enjoy. Got pushed, bumped and poked around way more than I would have liked. Missed our first train out of Cardiff because it was so full of crazy people, my belly and I could not fit at all. Didn't buy anything- oh, yes I did- a pair of slippers. BUT- had great conversations with a mum from school that I have become friends with. She asked lots of tough questions and we chatted for 8 hours or so about life.

*Got home from church on Sunday, Cerys acting like she does not feel well again...woke up from nap with a fever. Again. Monday morning it was 102.8 and so she misses her school trip to see Santa in his grotto.

*While taking care of sick child, I'm cooking and cleaning getting ready for our student Christmas party at our house last night. We had a good time. Pictures to follow.

*Started coughing and not feeling well during the party, didn't sleep at all last night. Really sore throat.

*Better go lay down, not feeling well.....


6:30pm- Tuesday evening

*Still not feeling well. Can hardly speak. Coughing fits and sore throat. Cerys is feeling lots better, has been fever free since during the night last night!

*Had a little meltdown but feeling better now. Just feeling overwhelmed with all the sickness our family has had. Looking forward to Christmas, though this will be the first Christmas we are not with any family. Feeling exhausted and very pregnant. Lots to think about - getting ready for Baby Girl, buying newborn clothes since I didn't bring any when we moved here, and right now the thought of a newborn, although very sweet and precious, makes me want to cry again. And thinking about packing for the hospital- you take everything with you including baby diapers and other products- I remember being so happy when I had Bailey that they provided clothes and a cute little hat and diapers. Not here. Better get myself organized fast!

Sorry this is so random. I've been laying down most of the day. My gracious husband has taken care of the girls all day and cancelled his group that he leads tonight so I can have a night off. I don't know what I would do without him. :)

Update

*Yes, all of those things below were said to me in the span of 2 days. I am really feeling encouraged. Not.

I don't know what my deal is, but I have been so inconsistent here on the old blog. I am so tired, that by the time I think I should update, well I just don't have the energy. And our laptop crashed this week, so we are down to one computer (gasp! how sad is that.) so I now have to wait my turn. Ha.

Anyway, my doctor rang this afternoon with good news. My biopsy was clear! There were signs of some infection at some point but he will have a more detailed report for me next week when I go in to have my stitches removed. He said it was also sent, for further research, to some lymphoma society, but he said not to worry about it. They just do further research once a month and my case got "chosen" to be sent there. Not sure what to think about that, but he told me not to worry, so worry I shall not. (I think.)

I have a big day tomorrow. I'm taking the train to Bath, England with some other mums from Cerys' school and her teacher. Her teacher organized this "Mum's Day Out" so we are going to go Christmas shopping (there is a huge outdoor market only at Christmas time) and have lunch. I'm sure it will be fun, but I will have to pace myself for all the walking. I'm so use to walking everywhere since living here, but being almost 8 months pregnant wears me out! Y'all should see me when I get to school each morning, huffing and puffing! Anyway.

Happy Weekend!

Whew!

What a rough few days we've had. Our little Thanksgiving dinner was almost ruined by the fact that Rotisserie chickens were on sale that day for some reason and I waited late in the day to even think about going to get one. So we just decided Marc would stop on the way home from taking Cerys to gymnastics. He had to go to two stores to find one. And it was a little scrawny one, but it was good! The girls are such picky eaters right now that I could just cry, so I think they only ate bread rolls and a few green beans that I made them eat. Sometimes I even wonder why I cook at all. They wouldn't even eat the sweet potato casserole, that is like pure sugar so I'm baffled. Marc and I enjoyed it though.

Anyway, the minute Cerys walked in the door from gymnastics she told me her ear was hurting. She never complains of her ears, so my first thought was just that she hit her ear or something at the gym. Marc said she was upset the whole way home about it. I gave her some Calpol (Tylenol) and she complained again at bedtime. This time I was sure it was stall-tactic. She had no fever, her ear looked okay to me and so I made her stay in bed. About 3am I hear her crying really hard and saying "MY EAR, MY EAR." Sure enough, she was burning up and had a fever. I administered more Calpol and tried to get her back to sleep. She finally fell asleep, I'm back in bed, baby is kicking around like crazy so I could not get to sleep. About 15 minutes later I see Marc run to the bathroom....and I'm thinking surely not!!!! Yes, he had a stomach virus all night and into the next morning. I forget to mention that Bailey had the stomach virus on Monday night into Tuesday morning, she and I laid on her floor all night while I tried desperately to get her to be sick in the bowl. It was a long night with her. I thought we had all escaped it, but it got the best of Marc. So far, Cerys and I have been fine. I never seem to get these stomach bugs- and I'm NOT complaining. Anyway, I didn't sleep much Thursday night between Cerys crying and Marc being sick. We got up Friday and of course I knew Cerys would not be going to school but when she came out of her room, she had drainage from that one ear all over her face, poor thing. So I called the doctor as soon as they opened and we were able to be seen first thing that morning. She's now on antibiotics and feels a lot better!

So we have pretty much been home all weekend recovering from all the sickness. We did manage to decorate, that took all of about 20 minutes since we have very little in Christmas decor and our tiny little fake tree, well, the girls think it's great and I guess that is all that matters?

We were able to visit the other hospital this afternoon. It is a midwife led unit as well, just across town. This hospital was built in 1933. It was nice, much smaller, only 5 rooms I think, but they all have a double bed in them for "partners" (this could mean boyfriend or husband here) and their own bathroom en suite - which was really nice. They have one birthing pool if needed for labor and/or delivery. There are only 2 drawbacks we see-and one is the time to get there, it took us 22 minutes on a Sunday afternoon, very little traffic. My midwife does not think I will have time to get there. (But they also want you to wait until the last minute possible, until you can't take the pain anymore or they will send you home) Marc will be a nervous wreck probably. And two, if anything goes wrong or there is intervention needed, I will be "blue-lighted" (taken by ambulance) to the main hospital here behind our house. Apparently, it can get across town in 3 minutes she said, that is some impressive driving folks! As soon as we got in the car to go home today, Marc was already wondering what route they take and how fast they must be going! So now we have a decision to make. I'm going to hopefully visit the midwife led clinic here at the main hospital behind our house, apparently they have moved it since I had Cerys and my midwife wants me to see it too before making my decision. I have an appointment on Wednesday to see her and she wants my decision made by then. I know some of you might be thinking that I should just stay at the main hospital- and we might just do that- but I would really like to be in a clean, less stressful environment where I will be taken care of. And I felt very calm and impressed by this other hospital today. Even though it is across town.

We also had to make a decision regarding schooling for the girls for next year. I know, we just started this year but the forms were sent out and we had to request places already. We have visited several schools that are not in our catchment area (you still have to apply for any school, even if it's in your catchment) and I have really struggled with this decision, but we are both in agreement now and feel a peace about the school we requested- which is the same school she is in now. Bailey will be starting Nursery School next September, when Cerys starts full-time Reception! The other school we were considering does not have a Nursery for some reason and we really felt strongly about having both girls together in the same school. There was a parent meeting this week and we got to meet the Reception teacher and see the curriculum and ask whatever questions we wanted.

I did venture out on Saturday to get some maternity trousers and after waiting in line to try them on, they didn't fit. I was desperate, so I just went and got the next size up and bought them without trying them on. Never a good idea. I got home and tried them on, still pretty snug. I was about to cry when I remembered a lady at the check out next to me on Saturday saying how she felt this particular store's sizes ran quite small. Yes, I agree. I was horrified by the size I bought and even more horrified when they did not fit. So, another trip to town for me this week to return them. I didn't even tell you about the mess with the Gap and their maternity jeans did I? I'm pretty mad at Gap right now and might not shop there ever again. Or at least until I've had the baby. :)

Well, I'm just rambling now. I better get myself in bed- ready for another week! I know this was random, so well done if you got this far. :)

Procedure: Done

Thank you for praying for me today. Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving! I sure wish I could watch the parade that is about to start.

My procedure took longer than expected- glands were deeper than my doctor thought (?) and moving around quite a bit, so it took almost 50 minutes to get one out. I was laying in the most awkward position since I could not lay flat on my back (dizzy, out of breath, etc) so I was not comfortable at all. And then after 20 minutes the doctor told me he could not get to any of them he needed another tool so the nurse took off running to get it. Marc was out in the hallway and later told me that it's not a good feeling to see the nurse that took your pregnant wife back behind those doors to come running past him twice with no explanation. Poor guy. When she came back I asked her to please go tell my husband that I was okay, I didn't even know he had seen her, so he said it was nice to know I was alright. I started crying at this point- not really sure why and I kept telling myself TO STOP, STOP NOW but the tears kept flowing. I was just ready to get it over with and didn't expect it to be so long or to have the doctor keep "topping up" my local anesthetic. Yikes.

Anyway, I'm home now with a nice big bandage, the numbness in my jaw/neck is wearing off a bit now and we are about to decorate for Christmas. I go back to my doctor in 2 weeks, but he said he would let me know if the results come back sooner than that.

Oh, and I made Pumpkin Squares (my sister in law's awesome recipe!) last night and sweet potato casserole. So later after Cerys' gymnastics class we will have a rotisserie chicken, green beans, rolls, sweet potato casserole and pumpkin squares for dessert! :)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving Week Y'all

Not sure how much posting will happen this week so I wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving to everyone now!

Life as usual around here, since you know, the Pilgrims left England to go to America and so they don't celebrate Thanksgiving. And I would be lying if I said I wasn't sad about being here. I'm feeling a bit sad since we were in Texas this time last year and we celebrated Cerys' 3rd birthday, Thanksgiving and Christmas with my family in a span of 2 weeks. I know my parents are sad that we are not there and I'm sad my mom won't be cooking for us! I mentioned before it will be a scaled down dinner for us- for one my surgery is that morning, and Cerys has school as usual and then she has her last gymnastics class that evening. I'm going to do some cooking on Wednesday- like the pie and sweet potato casserole (YUM, I will try to not to eat the whole thing) that way I won't have to do anything after my surgery.

I've got some Thanksgiving activities planned for the girls, sorry but it's the teacher in me I suppose. I kept all my children's books from teaching so I pulled out my Thanksgiving ones today and we read one together. Then we made Indian or Native American hats complete with construction paper feathers and we made turkey's out of their little hand prints. Tomorrow we are going to make a Thankful Tree and who knows what else we'll do! Cerys has already asked why her friends at school don't celebrate Thanksgiving so we have had some funny conversations so far. (Also, they are practicing for their Christmas Nativity that the Nursery is putting on. This is a public community school that is very diverse. It will be interesting to hear sweet 3 and 4 year old children from Muslim, Hindu and other backgrounds singing about Christ' birth. Our daughter is definitely in the minority. I can't wait!)

Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving to Y'all and I pray that you have a wonderful week. For my Dad and other teacher friends- enjoy your week off school!

Posterous theme by Cory Watilo