Life Overseas

Lately, my heart has softened for this city we live in. I know that may sound strange coming from someone like me, but I have to be honest and say that sometimes living in another culture can be annoying. At first, you have what we call the "honeymoon phase" of culture shock- everything is so great! so wonderful! so fun! Then we move in to what is called the "negotiation phase" this is where things become frustrating, annoying, and could cause anxiety. I often hear it in my own voice when I start a sentence with "Well, in America it's like this..." That is a dangerous road to go down! The last two phases are called "adjustment phase" and "mastery phase." While I would like to think I live in the "mastery phase" because we have settled here for so long, I will admit that sometimes I revert to the negotiation phase.

I am good at complaining. I can list about 20 things that annoy me about the UK, Wales more specifically. I could also tell you how I would fix it if I was in charge. Yes, I do have opinions, I just don't voice them often. But lately, my thoughts have turned to how blessed we are to live here. Even in the midst of annoying/odd/different things, I have to take a step back and look at all the things I love about living here. I've been in the process of rebuilding some patterns of thought that I've held for many years. It's hard work. Instead of keeping a running list in my head of things I'm worried about or things I'm annoyed at, I've stopped and started listing things I'm thankful for. And, amazingly, it changes you! A few months ago I read '1,000 Gifts' and the idea of counting what you are thankful for really made an impact on me.

Not only has this helped change my mood, it has helped me see our city in a different light. I'm seeing things that I haven't noticed before in our city. Some beautiful, some broken. I had the privilege of going with a friend to serve lunch at a homeless shelter a few Saturday's ago. It was very humbling. Most were so grateful for a hot meal. I felt such compassion for the people that were there, whether they were in that situation because of a choice they had made or because of something else. I just felt God stirring my heart while I helped my friend wash and put away the dishes. Older men, younger men, young ladies- from all walks of life, in need of someone to say they care.

The other night I was coming home from meeting a friend for coffee. I was starving because I had not had dinner so I text Marc and told him I could pick up a sandwich at Subway if he wanted one too. It was Sunday night, so not many shops were open as I turned down a familiar street. As I pulled in to parallel park I noticed a homeless man sitting on a blanket right in front of Subway. I don't usually have these heart-pounding moments where God speaks so clear to me, but this night I did. "Buy him a sandwich." Oh Lord, for real? I'm a girl, alone on this street at 9pm, he will think I'm a freak and what if someone sees me handing him food? Marc text me back saying he was not hungry. "Give him Marc's sandwich" For real Lord? I had this little conversation in my head while getting my wallet out and walking past the man into Subway. I kept telling myself I was just hearing things, just order one sandwich for me and get home. "I'll have two sandwiches please" just flew out of my mouth. What in the world. As the Subway man was toasting our sandwiches I thought, well I might as well have him put all the works on it, but surely he doesn't want any crisps or a drink. Wrong. I chose some crisps and got him a bottle of Coke. Even as I was walking out the door, I was thinking well I'll just take this home and give it to Marc even though he said he wasn't hungry. Can you believe how ridiculous this is? Marc doesn't even like all that on his sandwich! Ha! Why are we, or maybe it's just me, so afraid to help people? I walked over to the man, who was sitting with his head down and handed him the bag of food and his bottle of Coke. I said, "Here you go sir, I hope you like it" and quickly got into my car. I was shaking and then looked back at him and he was shoving that sandwich into his mouth like he'd never eaten. Then I started crying. Why was I so embarrassed? Why did I try to talk myself out of this?

I want to be obedient to God. I want to have eyes to see where He is working in this city, and join Him. He's doing amazing things among uni students! I pray that He will open my eyes to see more needs in this city. Buying that sandwich was not a big deal, and I could have said a lot more to him- like "Jesus loves you so much." But there's no sense in beating myself up over what I should've said, I just pray that my heart stays softened to allow me to be obedient.

I'm also thankful we can raise our girls in another culture. Sure, it can be daunting at times and I pray they won't grow up scarred for life. I worry a lot. About our school, the girl's friends, do we do this enough, do we do that enough...the list goes on. Raising kids in a post-modern society is not always easy, mainly because it's very different from how I was raised. I welcome our conversations about their friend's beliefs, about the mosque we drive by, about the way we dress or don't dress, why that guy on the street corner is doing that (inappropriate to say here) the list goes on... It seems that these conversations happen constantly and I just pray we have the right words to say. It's exciting to know that the girls are growing up with this much-larger-than-I-did worldview. And I'm thankful. I might stress over it and sometimes feel like I need to keep them near my side at all times and shield their eyes, but God is bigger! God is bigger. I trust Him with our girls. I have no other choice.

So, I'm pretty thankful for life overseas. We aren't rushing through life from event to event. We are enjoying being together for this season of our lives, experiencing another country. We laugh together a lot- at Bailey's strong British accent, getting our American words and British words mixed up (currently, pants is hilarious to our girls. Trousers are pants and pants are underwear) , and when things are rough and we get homesick, we just think of all the things we are thankful for about life in Wales. And that includes Skype!

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