Pigheaded
This past week in my Breaking Free study this question was asked, "Can you recall a situation in which you have acted pigheaded toward God?"
Hmm, let's see. Can I recall a time? Um, which time? You know when you are just suppose to say something and you don't want to but you feel like your heart is going to pound out of your chest if you don't? Well this happened to me on Wednesday and I really did not want to share my answer. I wasn't planning on it and certainly didn't want to. But I knew I had to. So I opened my mouth and spoke and the ugly cry came out. I was trying to tame it but had no success.
I'm currently being pigheaded. Three months into our stateside and I did not want to return to Wales. I was looking for and trying to find any reason or excuse not to go back. I'm comfortable here. I have family 20 minutes away. I have a high school friend who has two little girls that lives 15 minutes away. I have the mall that I can go to to let the girls play and walk around. I have Sonic. I have Target. I know this sounds so shallow and materialistic. But there you go. So I've been pigheaded about it. Telling God all the things we give up to live overseas. Telling God about how happy I would be if only...fill in the blank.... there are so many ways to end that sentence.
But, I have known in my heart that going back to Wales is the right thing. June 23rd will come sooner than I want it to probably. We will cry and say goodbye again to our families, but I will know in my heart that we are where God wants us. And He is worth it!
(On a separate note, I would appreciate your prayers for me as I had some heart palpitations over the past few years, nothing regular but since I've started running again I wanted to have it checked out. I had a sonogram of my heart today and will hear from my doctor probably next week about the results. I'm thinking I'm okay, but it's just that nagging fear in my mind and then it makes me feel like I really am breathing fast, etc. Anyway, thank you in advance!)