I Love My Husband and A Lesson From My Little Pony
So it's no secret that I've been feeling rather down and frustrated lately with the never-ending pregnancy. :) I've tried so hard to be positive and not dwell on what is NOT happening. I've had several melt downs the last two weeks and Marc just walks right through them with me. I know he is tired of the waiting too and probably tired of my emotions- though he would never say it. Last night we were talking about everything and before we prayed I just voiced something to him that I've felt for a long time- I have a hard time believing that God would want to bless me. I know that may sound strange. I know He has blessed me- with many things- but the last two years I've really struggled with that thought. So as we have been praying for labor to start, and for some good news from the midwife each week, I've just felt rather defeated and not sure I should pray about it anymore. I was hoping for a rather quick delivery, in the midwife led unit, no complications- but right now that seems so far off and I'm not sure it's been right to pray for that. (For anyone wondering why I'm praying such specific things, you can read here about Cerys' birth 4 years ago at the same hospital) After I explained all this to Marc he reminded me what we did for the girls on Sunday.
Sunday after church we ate lunch at Pizza Hut because I did not feel like cooking. After lunch we drove over to Toys R Us because we were looking for a certain board game to play with our student home group on Monday night. As we walked into the store, all the My Little Pony horses were on sale- buy one get one free. Now, the girls have plenty of ponies but we stopped to look at them anyway. They got all excited and were pointing out all the ones they "loved" and didn't have. I'm not sure what came over me, especially since Cerys just had a birthday in November and then of course Christmas- but I let them each pick out one pony. Cerys chose one that had a painters hat and paint brush and Bailey chose one that had a hula skirt and necklace on that was bright green and blue. We picked out the game we wanted and proceeded to checkout.
The girls didn't "deserve" those ponies. In fact, based on their behavior this weekend I'm not sure why I even thought of letting them have anything! But because we love them and enjoy seeing them happy, we bought the ponies for them.
We don't deserve anything good either. We are sinners. But God, in His love for us wants to give us good things. I'm not sure why I have such a hard time letting this truth sink in.
Cerys does not have Nursery school this week as it's half term, so all schools are closed. We are trying to do some fun things- today we went to an outdoor museum and we are going bowling in the morning. I'm sure that will be a hoot. I'm very uncomfortable and have a hard time walking, but I'm trying to do as much as I can before Baby Girl arrives. All the walking this morning has kick started some major braxton hicks again so I'm hoping that I will at least have some good news from the midwife tomorrow- I just want to hear that I've progressed at least a tiny bit. I'm trying to put my hope in the Lord, not in the contractions. :)
I'll try and update tomorrow after my appointment at 2pm (8am Texas time)!