Not What You Wanted?

Sometime last week I came across another blog with a post titled: When Christmas Isn't How You Wanted. It really struck a chord with me because I was moping around this past week and feeling sorry for my family, etc etc etc I started crying over how this year, Christmas is not going to be what I wanted it to be.

I ran down my list of things that would not be right- being in a foreign country, both sides of our family on separate continents from each other, it never quite "feels" like Christmas to me here because of what I've gotten use to growing up, we won't be at my mom's house to wake up to Monkey Bread on Christmas morning, our parents won't get to see the joy and excitement that the girls have about Christmas this year, they won't get to see them open presents, no extended family to hang out with, etc. I could go on and on. This will be the first Christmas with just the four of us (soon 5!). Even though Marc's parents are in another country, it has somehow worked out that we were with one side of the family every year. I can't believe it's been a year since our (crazy) trip to Africa! Y'all, I NEVER want to re-live that flight.

This year, it will be just us four in our little home surrounded by minimal decorations (I would love to do BooMama's Tour of Homes, but ya right. There are some NICE homes out there!). I might attempt to make Mom's Monkey Bread or maybe just some cinnamon rolls. And we will have a quite day I'm sure. I'm praying for snow, but it didn't snow last year so I'm not going to count on it.

After reading that post I mentioned above, I read through Beth Moore's story she wrote from Mary's perspective in Things Pondered. It probably wasn't everything Mary had hoped for. Being 8 months pregnant now, I can totally relate. I've never been "heavily" pregnant at Christmas before, so this year I have a new perspective too. If Marc told me to hop on a donkey so we could return home I would bawl my eyes out. Bless Mary's heart. There is a reason God chose her! It would not have been an easy journey- and in the words of one of Cerys' Nativity songs- "We're on a bumpy journey, and we're leaving early....we'll take it nice and steady 'cause our backs are heavy and the baby could be born any day!" I just can't imagine. I've complained about the hospital here more than I should have- and then I think about where Jesus was born and what it must have been like for Mary. Probably not what she had in mind.

So that's my confession about feeling a little blah about Christmas this year. It will be different for sure, but it could be really good with just the four of us!

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